Conversational Chess: The science of "Bread Crumbing"

In the game of chess, mastery is not achieved through flashy, complex moves, but through a strategic series of simple, deliberate actions. Similarly, in life, the ability to lead meaningful conversations isn't about dazzling rhetoric or a gregarious personality, but about understanding the strategic science behind the term I like to refer to as "bread crumbing."

What is "Bread Crumbing"?

"Bread crumbing" in the context of conversation skills refers to the art of leading a conversation through a series of well-calibrated questions and responses, much like strategically tossing breadcrumbs to attract and lead ducks. It's about engaging with others in a way that draws them closer, step by step, towards a desired outcome without overwhelming or pushing them away.

Two Types of Conversation Skills: Having and Leading

Conversations can be broadly categorized into two types: having conversations and leading conversations. Having conversations simply involves talking about various topics, something that outgoing personalities often excel at. However, leading conversations, which involves guiding the discussion towards a specific goal or deeper understanding, requires a different set of skills.

The Challenge for Introverts and Extroverts

Introverted individuals often struggle with engaging in conversations, which is the first step towards being able to lead them effectively. On the other hand, extroverts may have no trouble having conversations, but they may struggle with leading them since they tend to talk about many things somewhat randomly.

The Chess Move Example

To illustrate this concept, let's consider the game of chess. In chess, a master player thinks multiple moves ahead but makes one simple move at a time, setting up the pieces to go where they want the game to go. Similarly, in conversation, the goal is to keep things simple and strategic, focusing on asking open-ended, calibrated questions that reveal where the other person is, how they got there, and what their next steps might be.

The Strategy of Leading Conversations

Leading conversations effectively involves understanding what the other person wants and then co-creating a pathway to help them get there. This requires active listening, empathy, and the ability to guide the conversation towards a mutually beneficial outcome.

Conclusion

Mastering people skills is not about being the most talkative or charismatic person in the room, but about understanding the strategic art of conversation. Like anything, you will learn the most by doing, but now that you are aware, pay attention next time you are in a conversation with a person who brings the best out of others and you will see this and be able to learn through observation. By learning to "bread crumb" your way through conversations, you can lead others towards a better future, one step at a time. So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, remember the chessboard, and make your moves wisely.

-Bobby Campbell

https://linktr.ee/BobbyCampbell