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How to get the most from your mentors: A Relational Approach

Updated: Apr 22

Mentorship is not just about the knowledge and information passed down but also the connection and understanding between the two parties. When pursuing mentors, it is imperative to shift the focus from the transactional extraction of information to a more relational, respectful, and symbiotic approach.

1. Cultivate a Relational Focus: The essence of mentorship lies in the relationship itself. It’s not just about what you can learn but also about the person you are learning from. Understanding their journey, their struggles, and their successes provides invaluable insights. Instead of treating the relationship as common, approach it with reverence. Acknowledge the wisdom and experience your mentor brings to the table.

2. Protect the Relationship: Every relationship is susceptible to misunderstandings and offenses. Actively work to protect your relationship from these pitfalls. Be mindful of your words and actions. If a disagreement arises, approach it with empathy and understanding. A strong relationship is built on mutual respect and trust.

3. Immerse Yourself in Their World: Rather than constantly bombarding your mentor with questions, take the initiative to delve into the resources they recommend. Read the books they suggest, explore the topics they find interesting, and engage with the materials they provide. This not only demonstrates your commitment but also allows you to bring more meaningful, thoughtful questions to your discussions.

4. Emulate Their Lifestyle: To truly understand your mentor’s perspective, go beyond the confines of formal meetings. Immerse yourself in their lifestyle. Go where they go, attend events they attend, and surround yourself with the people they associate with. By living in their world, you gain a deeper understanding of their values and principles, which can be as instructive as any formal lesson.

5. Solve Problems Together: Avoid burdening your mentors with your problems. Instead, approach them with potential solutions you’ve crafted. Seek their guidance on refining your solutions and consider their perspective. This not only showcases your problem-solving abilities but also invites them into a collaborative process. Mentorship should teach you how to think, not what to think.

6. Receive Their Belief and Faith: When a successful individual invests their time and energy in your growth, it is a testament to their judgment. Trust in their belief and faith in you. Use this confidence to propel yourself forward. Understand that while your mentors might not get everything right, their success is built upon a foundation of good decisions. Allow their guidance to infuse you with the assurance needed to navigate your own path.


In conclusion, mentorship is a combination of learning and relationship-building. By shifting the focus from the mere acquisition of knowledge to a holistic embrace of the mentor’s world, by not only learning by actively doing it sets you up to pay it forward. Ideally you want to duplicate the results and take somebody less experienced under your wing. The illustration would be being a river, not a swamp. A flowing river has life along its banks and vital minerals that bring life to its surroundings. The banks are boundaries that provide for flow and growth. The swamp doesn't have boundaries, stagnates, and can breed things you would rather not have in your life. Establish these boundaries in your relationships and enjoy a transformative journey that shapes not only your intellect but also your character, guiding you towards a future imbued with wisdom and understanding.


-Bobby Campbell

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